The Miner’s Minefield

Miner in a mine of the "Cerro Rico" ...
Image via Wikipedia

While the world celebrates the rescue of the miners trapped in 2300 feet below Chilean soil, the miners themselves have got some ‘splaining to do.

Why?

Because they’ll have to traverse through the minefield of wives and mistresses.

You see, hordes of women have been coming to Camp Hope to receive government handouts, including welfare packages issued to the families of trapped miners as well as future compensation claims that could run into thousands of dollars.

The problem?

The side chick forgot that she is only the side chick and that all benefits belong to the legal spouse.

At least five wive’s have run into their husbands dirty lil’ secret.

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A couple of the mistress’ had enough dignity to recognize their mistake and slip back into the shadows where they belong.

Others, however, have dollar signs in their eyes and are not letting go of their cash cow quite so complacently.

One man even has four women fighting over him–the wife he never divorced, his live-in lover, his baby momma, and yet another woman claiming to be his girlfriend.

Special welfare counselors have had to be brought on the scene to address all of these issues.

While they were underground, it was decided that the miner’s would not be advised of the perilous situation that they will be facing along with the sunlight.

Johann Heinrich Füssli:
Image via Wikipedia

(Pardon me while I LMAO)

Ok, I’m back…

One miner, in particular, will be looking around for a wife who is not there because she spotted The Other Woman of 10 years crying, carrying on, and calling out his name.

“I am happy because he made it, it’s a miracle of God. But I’m not going to see the rescue. He asked me to, but it turns out that he also asked the other lady, and I am a decent woman. Things are clear: it’s her or me. In phone conversations and letters he’s sent to me it’s clear that he’s fine, and that’s enough for me.”

What a sad twist to what is suppose to be a joyuous recovery.

Keep the faith, ladies, and hire one of those lawyers that I am sure is crawling all over you with divorce papers in hand!

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