See, I am a considerate person.
Because when you so kindly offered me a ride home, I declined.
Not because I particularly wanted to walk.
It was because I had gas.
That’s why I took my time coming over to your car.
I had to let the air, uh, dissipate a little.
Hopefully, no foul air wafted its way into your open car window.
After all, you don’t look like the type to have a flatulence fetish.
(Um, what would a fart fetishist look like anyway? Huge nostrils and graphic tee of girls farting?)
I’m surprised you couldn’t hear my stomach gurgling and burgling as I held the next jurassic sized gas bubble building in my tum-tum.
I know you wanted to chat just a wee bit more but I had to go.
‘Cause I keep it classy.
By the way, who knew that there were so many articles about passing gas!
- Fart Fetish News of the Day (tease.thedailywh.at)
- Why Do I Fart So Much? (mademan.com)
- Adventure Time Meets Pokemon In Video About Farts (escapistmagazine.com)
- A Fart Fetish Group Wants Nancy Grace’s Fart [VIDEO] (socialitelife.com)
- welcome to ‘Can Fart’ restaurant (thefreeonline.wordpress.com)
- How To Fart On Command (mademan.com)
- The Farting Problem (smallthoughtsfromasmallmind.wordpress.com)
- Fart Fetish Group to Purchase Rights to Nancy Grace Video (997now.radio.com)
- Breaking News, Breaking Wind: Anchors Struggle To Get Through Report on Flatulence-Based ArrestMore Fart Based News: Did Barney Frank Fart on Rachel Maddow? (minx.cc)
- Nancy Grace Speaks on Fart-Gate: It Wasn’t Me! (thehollywoodgossip.com)
- Pull My Finger (prinniefied.wordpress.com)
- Farting for Marines banned in Afghanistan; Reactions, Comments (ameristroika.wordpress.com)
- The Art Of Public Farting [Lady Macgyver] (jezebel.com)
- AFGHANISTAN: US Marines are banned from farting because it offends muslims (barenakedislam.wordpress.com)
- Ash Teaches Pikachu About Flatulence Camouflage Techniques (nerdist.com)
- Baby Pulls Off The Improbable Sneeze Fart (citysubwaycreatures.com)
- My first conscious fart (gooiweg.wordpress.com)
- Fart Fetish Group Wants Some Action From Nancy Grace (q104.radio.com)
- Marines Ban Noisy Farts in Afghanistan [The Military] (gawker.com)
- Marines in Afghanistan: No Farting “Aloud” (constitutionclub.org)
- Passin gas Etiquette… (malshell.wordpress.com)
- Marines in Afghanistan: No Farting “Aloud” (mikesright.wordpress.com)
- The Gas Man Cometh (poemsandponderings.wordpress.com)
- Subtle Butt: Neutralize Your Farts! (997now.radio.com)
- Marines To Ban Audible Farts in Afghanistan (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)
- 10 Tips To Avoid Embarrasing Auto Troubles (jeffyorkteam.wordpress.com)