Smallville is sexy again…

Smallville iPhone wallpaper
Image by xploitme via Flickr

How to you spell sexy: T.O.M. W.E.L.L.I.N.G.

Ok, what’s the alternate spelling? Smallville!

Because Friday’s season finale was schmoking hot!

I don’t know what CW is putting in the water these days but the finales are on fire.

For realsies, without the absolute beauty of Mr. Welling, Smallville may have been cancelled years ago.

Sometimes the plots had such big holes you could drive a meteor through them.

But, the cast is full of talented (and yes, drop dead gorgeous) people who are so engaging that you just wanna give this show another shot week after week.

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This Friday we were aptly rewarded for our faithfulness with Smallville Season Finale entitled Salvation.

(If you aren’t a fan of spoilers, stop reading now!)

Our story opens in the year 2013 with a Daily Planet scene reminiscent of the original Superman movie franchise. Perry White is Editor and Lois is a hard hitting reporter. A ball of flame was heading towards the Daily planet office. Jimmy Olsen is her faithful assistant (rolling on Heelies. Lol) but not the same actor that portrayed the Jimmy that Chloe loves and mourns. And Superman…well…to find him you’ll need to “Look! Up in the sky….”

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Image by Miss.Marie via Flickr

And in a move that hopefully foreshadows the future, it is reported the Lex Luther is running for President. Which I interrupt to mean the Lex is a-comin’ back. Yay!

Alrighty back to the iminent danger at the Daily Planet. All you see of Clark at this point are his glasses on his desk and the puff of air that lets us know that our boy is in hero motion (another nod to Christopher Reeve‘s classic portrayal). You hear an overshadowing voice telling Clark that his destiny is to lead this planet as the airplane hurtles down….then….

Clark wakes up.

After getting himself together, he notices a trunk with a note from his Mom that reads, “If you chose to stay. Love, Mom”.

And in the package?

The Superman Suit!

Sadly, we are only treated to the reflection of the suit in Clark Kent‘s beautiful blue eyes.

When we come back from commercial break, we find Zoid pretending to be The Blur to manipulate our heroine, Lois Lane. Lois is wisely reticent in believing Zod is The Blur until she listens to the tale of how Clark Kent was actually the villain of this piece. Still without proof, she rightfully defends the love of her life.

Chloe has resurrected another version of Watchtower. But what is cute is watching Chloe and Oliver dance and dither about what they feel for each other.

Chloe is all set to use the Book of Rao to send the Kantonians to there paradise life. The only downside…the means ALL Kryptonians, including Clark. She plays Devil’s Advocate against Clark’s wanting to stay and put forth his Destiny. Although she doesn’t want him to go, she knows that it may be what is right for the human race.

From Superman Returns (2006)
Image via Wikipedia

Meanwhile, Zod goes to destroy the Fortress of Solitude. There he encounters Tess and there Tess encounters his heat vision. It was a nice try on her part to earn the forgiveness of those on the right side of justice.

Clark arrives to confront his father about his Destiny only to encounter Zod and the evidence of his destructive tendencies.

Giving Zod a heart warming speech about how his earth father, Jonathan died, Clark warns Zod not to play God. But Zod believes it is his destiny to rule the Earth. After Zod leaves, Clark finds Tess with her face half burned off a la Two Face from Batman.

Being a hero, Clark rushes Tess to the emergency room. Tess apologizes for attempting to look for his fortress and tells him about the crystals that Zod had made that may be similar to the crystals found in the Fortress. She knows that this may be her last chance to atone for her sins. A mysterious lady sits outside of Tess’ room metiquously working a ball of yarn.

As Tess prophesied, “The War has already begun” and we are taking to horrifying scenes of the 7 Wonders of the World being destroyed. The Great Wall of China is on fire. The Zod emblem blazed into the Egyptian pyramids. Yes, Zod’s minions of been mighty, mighty busy. The Justice League scrambles to adjust and Clark has to reign them in from any rash actions. He announces that he will indeed use the Book of Rau to send them all away…including himself.

The Justice League stands by his side and vow to work together and be the team that they were always meant to be.

Despite her convictions, Chloe is devastated because “when your oldest friend leaves town, there is really no way to say goodbye”.  Meanwhile, Oliver convinces Clark to say his final farewells to Lois even though he still cannot reveal his true identity.

Justin Hartley

Image by ^NaTaSHa^ via Flickr

What’s the sweetest gift in the world you can give to a known smarty partarty like Chloe. Her own satellite. Yep, Mr. Moneybags Oliver Queen got his sweetie her very own satellite and all he has to do now is go flip the switch and she is back in business.

Funny line: Chloe: “Do me a favor. Try to keep a low profile.”

Oliver: ” I’m wearing green leather, so, I’ll do my best…”

And off  goes the Green Arrow armed with walkie talkies to turn on his lil’ dove’s million dollar satellite.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…ur, farm, Lois discovers a copy of the picture of the Book of Rau in Clark’s “diary”. Before she can even wrap her mind around that fact, Clark enters to tell her just how much he means to her. Dang that man is pretty, especially as he looks right into the camera and pours at his heart to her me.

Lois is obviously confused about her belief in Clark and her new found knowledge of the Book of Rao, deflects the issue by telling Clark that Perry offered her a job in Kenya. Clark, believing that her taking the job will not only give her closure on the relationship but also keep her safe, tells her that she should take the jobs. But our girl rallies and says that she would stay for him. Practically begging him with her eyes to ask, hint, anything to let her know that he wants her to stay. An absolute masterpiece of star crossed lovers. When he does not, her heart breaks, and Lois leaves.

We are then panned back to the hospital where Tess dies from her injuries. After hearing that she is dead, they mystery woman picks up her yarn and ambles on into the hospital room and closes the door..and us, out. Those in the now are already hypothesing on who this lady just may be and what it means for the fate of Tess. Beyond her death, I mean. Come on…no one really dies in a supernatural show. You just go on hiatus! Lol.

Moleman aka The Green Arrow is being guided through the ducts by Chloe and manages to connect the satellite exciting his lady no end. On his way out, Oliver is swarmed by a mysterious group (lots of mysterious folks in this episode, huh). Before he is completely over run, he manages to say two important things.

“Chloe, I love you” and “Chloe, they’re not Kandorian.”

Clark finds the crystals right where Tess said they would be but he also discovered a lil birdy has stolen the Book of Rao out of his pocket. A lil birdy named Lois who is currently meeting the the fake Blur, his imperial evilness, Zod. In an act of pure emotion, she actually believes that Clark is the bad guy. How do I figure. Because she says that her heart is not broken, its shattered. But, uh oh, when Zod puts his hand on her shoulder in a move reminiscent of the way The Blur touched her in another episode, the jig is up and she knows that he is not The Blur. As a test, she tells him that she hid it in the place where she told The Blur that he was the most important person in her life.

(Ok, this is the part where I start yelling at the screen. Geesh, Lois, that’s the very FIRST thing I would have done for anyone claiming to be The Blur. Especially as the real Blur told you that you were not to trust anyone claiming to be him. GEEEESH. ~pardon my French, y’all.)

This is also one of the holes in the plot because as my friend says, he has x-ray vision. Why didn’t he scan her for the darn thing.

Now, this fool here DARED to put his hand on Clark Kent’s woman. In a punch for a push, Clark hit him so hard and still manage to catch Lois before she hit the grown. Lois + Clark = Lois unconscious. Again. But not for long this time. Clark retreats to the shadows and pulls her after him.What follows after is a kiss so hot to that I, myself, can still feel it all the way down to my….wait, this is my family blog, right. Nevermind. We’ll leave at they kissed. And then he was gone. Ah…but our dear heroine recognised the kiss of her one and only love, Clark Kent.

Its confrotation time, folks. Clark is off to put the crystal in its place to pull the Kandorians to paradise. But, he is intercepted by Zod and his deceived followers. Clark once again tries to convince the Kandorians that his way is the right way. In an idiotic move, Zod confesses to killing his own child. Now, it took some of the Kandorians a minute to realize that the only way that he could have killed said child was to have killed the mother, as well. Tearing off the Zod patches, the entreat Khalil to take them home. Clark puts the Book of Rao in place and one by one the Kandorians ascend to their new home.

Like blue kryptonite
Image by minor9th via Flickr

All but Zod. The fiend pulls out a blue kryptonite sword because it is better to rule in hell than serve in heaven. Blue kryptonite makes both Zod and Clark mortal and thus they do not ascend like their brethren. A battle royale ensues between Clark and Zod (Tom looking especially sexy all wet, arms bulging, back flexing,  and….um, did I digress again??) Clark manages to get in a few licks but Zod is stone hard killer and a soldier to boot. They end up on the precipice of the building where Clark makes the strategic decision to lose the fight by forcing the sword into his own body. In a reflex, Zod releases the sword and gives Clark a victorious smirk. That is, until he realises that Clark has plunged himself off the building, taking the blue kyrptonite with him.

Bye bye Zod.

And as for Clark, well, that’s To Be Continued….


Image via Wikipedia

Phew, all that typing, rewinding, and no less than 7 family and friend interruptions took a lot out of the kid.

So, let me close with a question.

What predictions do you have for the Smallville future in the upcoming September season?

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